5 Suprising Habits of my Introvert Self

I’m three years old, accompanying my mom to auditions for the local community theater production and the thing I love most is singing (anyone within earshot of a car I’m in would endorse this fact). People around me are singing and dancing, bubbling over with enthusiasm and warmth, chatting with my mom, connecting with each other. I want so badly to be a part of it all - the lyrics to my audition song lovingly written by my mother on the back of an envelope in her perfect cursive, gripped tightly in my hands like a security blanket to hide behind. The audition itself is murky in my mind (not much beyond the envelope itself and being told years later that I was practically inaudible but cute enough to tag along), but I remember so clearly using her long crinkle skirt as a curtain to hide behind when someone approached to say hello. Some would say, “oh, she’s just shy”, but it’s one of the clearest memories I have of wanting to be an observer - to do what I love, and maybe even perform a little, but to exist primarily as a solo endeavor.

Solo is how I learned to solve problems. Hermit-ing is my go-to and in times of struggle I get quiet and thinky. My homebody inclinations came in handy for a long while circa March 2020 and reemerged as a valuable default when chemo robbed me of an immune system in 2024. These days, I still find myself deeply introverted in how I recharge, reflect, and refresh. It’s the little, quiet moments of solitude and observation that feel most vibrant. Don’t get me wrong, I love my people HARD. I can be charming, rustle up a chuckle in a new friend, and schmooze professionally. Connection is central to what and who I welcome in my life, but ultimately it’s solace that reinvigorates me.

This morning, I chose to procrastinate by going to Trader Joe’s for my beloved cold brew bags, a bouquet of flowers, and some standby snacks and wine for spur of the moment dog playdates. In a quick volley with the cashier, I realized that while opting for a balance that leans heavily toward introvert, I have some natural tendencies in the other direction that bring me joy. And thus I give you five surprising habits of my hermity self: